Smile
by Wends
Summary: One always patiently observes, waiting for a smile that may never again come. [implied LexZex, rated for slightly mature theme smushed inbetween paragraphs [hey! why isn't Lexaeus a choosable character on the character list, dammit!].]


DISCLAIMER: I in no way own Kingdom Hearts: Chains of Memory (or KH2). Don't sue; I'm only an E5 in the USN, therefore I have no money. Ha.

_-BEGIN FIC-_

Once upon a time he smiled.

Long, long ago smiles were once commonplace upon what were now thin, expressionless lips that hardly ever bent from their continuous bland flat line. A twist of merriment, a curl of satisfaction, a simple gesture of good will towards the world, a smug proclamation of victory, a sympathetic flash of benign understanding - whatever the reason smiles were always present.

That bend of pink lips upon that face accompanied by a sparkling glint in clear blue eyes was, perhaps, what his observer missed the most.

It wasn't that the lips failed entirely to move. No, they held their span of expressions - parting for speech or for eating, sliding their corners downwards in a fitful frown, twisting in a scowl of frustration, slipping into a sneer. At times they even managed a mockery of a grin, a fallacy of a smile.

That smile that appeared on his lips after those far removed times were buried in the dust of passing ages was never reflected in his eyes. Those eyes remained dull, lifeless, empty, soulless.

Day after day, his observer watched carefully for signs that the smile that would slide over those lips from time to time would not be so very false. He would listen for the hint of emotion in his voice. He would watch for the spark of fiery life in those blue eyes. He would watch for the distinct twist those lips would carry when the smile they displayed was full and true and heartfelt in every way.

For so many different reasons, he wanted to see his subject smile.

He wanted to see him smile to see if the connection between a Nobody and their heart could possibly continue to exist after the forceful stripping of that heart from the body's chest. He wanted to see if the thundering of emotion emoted from a far-off vessel could have any chance of reaching the dull existence of the living body to enrich its slavish and empty life once more.

After all, many of his other companions displayed something akin to emotions from time to time; the newest members of the order to which he belonged seemed most apt at those shows. Among the original six, such sightings were exceptionally fleeting, but still they existed. Fathomless confidence, eccentric arrogance, frustration, ambition, supremacy, irritation, even anger could be observed in their actions from time to time, ephemeral but still present nonetheless. In those who would follow, the band of emoted shades of emotion grew even larger; spanning from outright hatred, rage, merriment and almost joyous, raucous humor to the elusive feelings of 'friendship' and perhaps even 'love,' the observer of the stoic subject found himself wondering if those Nobodies were truly devoid of their hearts at all.

Perhaps if they still had a solid link to that stolen vestige of their souls, there was hope for him as well. Hope for him and his subject to recover from crimes committed in the past, from experiments performed without care or regard for the subject of their actions.

He wanted to see his subject smile to experience the memories associated with that facial expression. He wanted to remember those days before his ambition had dredged him through the muck and mire of darkness. He wanted that physically present stimulation to assist him in recalling the happiness he'd once known.

They all had memories they lusted to make reality once again. They all had their personal pasts, their hidden agendas they would never see made reality as they existed now. He was no exception.

He had left behind happiness, had left behind a promising future, had left behind a life in which he loved to devote himself completely to the research he and his comrades were conducting. He had left behind the light he'd basked in under the gentle tutorage of Ansem the Wise to cast himself into darkness, seeking power and understanding. He had left behind the emotions he'd shared with his subject who never smiles.

He wanted to remember those times before darkness consumed their souls. He wanted that smile to remind him of that era.

He wanted to see his subject smile to see that face light with the life it seemed to lack. He wanted to see the slight softening of those hard blue eyes, the tiny wrinkles that would form at their corners. He wanted to watch the set jaw move from its position, to watch those glistening, perfect white teeth flash in the light, to watch that finely crafted nose wrinkle slightly as those brows would draw down right before those eyes closed, pressing dark lashes onto waiting cheeks.

That image had once been so commonplace that he'd come to take it for granted. He'd never appreciated the beauty of that simple gesture until it was stripped completely away.

Now it seemed impossible to garner a glimpse of that expression again.

If he'd had the capacity for it, the observer might have felt sad when that miserable fact was recognized. However, his ties with his revoked heart were so thin that nothing more than a dull thud of something bordering upon regret could be felt upon the winds, drifting far from his chest.

Certainly there were other things his observer missed. The idle conversation, the randomly started chats brought about by the appearance of a bird or a butterfly in the yards encased in the massive structure that was Radiant Garden's central castle. The stimulating discussions concerning research topics that were underway, upcoming or recently completed. The derisive arguments over hypothetical questions and unrelenting pressing for compliance and agreement ith his views. The soft dialogue about the nature of man, the nature of the world, the nature of the heart.

He missed watching his subject on a day-to-day basis, with or without that subject's knowledge, as he went about his ordinary business. A stroll through the massive castle's gardens in the morning, a moment of meditation before breakfast, a neatly eaten bowl of cereal and plate of eggs accompanied by toast and orange juice, an afternoon of dedicated study and research involving tearing through books and scribbling almost manically in an ever-present notebook stuffed with boggling equations and theorems and wisdom, a tidily eaten dinner with obvious personal exclusion from the rambunctious play and fighting of the other young apprentices at the table, an evening of simple physical exertion designed to release the mind from its mad whirring and excess thoughts, a quiet stroll down a moonlit path to watch the night's owls fly from their daytime roosts to hunt.

He missed walking with his subject on those morning and evening strolls, speaking upon whatever topic would reach either one of their minds, trying his best and usually succeeding in his attempts to draw a smile to that face.

He missed those quiet nights, listening to the chirping of crickets and the singing of nightingales, laying in calm restitute with his subject and tracing the smile that appeared on his lips with his fingertips. He missed the fulfilling emotion that would wash over them both, his own felt in his heart and his subject's reflecting those feelings that thundered in his chest upon those gently turned lips. The serene respect for one another, the doubtless devotion, the pure and unequivocal love they shared would rest in that smile whenever it was directed at him, reaffirmed in those tender eyes.

He missed that smile.

He would kill to see it again.

He would see any plan, no matter how manic, no matter how murderous, come to its fruition if that plan's termination would bring that smile back to his subject's lips.

And so it was that he watched his subject day in and day out, pining for a smile that would possibly never again appear, waiting for emotions that would likely never become reality again. So it was that he would plan and plot and scheme and devise, every last effort made not for the achievement of the Superior's ultimate dreams and his own goals, but rather for the return of something that could never be realized without assistance. Without a heart. Without true life, without becoming whole.

His subject once had smiled so often.

He would ensure that his subject would smile again.

A new aura in his vicinity startled the observer from his task, stripping the vision of blandly flat lips from his view. Turning slightly, his eyes narrowing slightly to express the slight displeassure that coursed through his veins towards being interrupted from his personally assigned task, he huffed softly. "Yes, Axel?"

"You've been staring at him all day. Hoping someday he'll notice?" the red-head jeered, elbowing the observer in the side with a bony joint. "Don't pine too hard. You'll ruin that 'emotionless hard-ass' image you've so carefully made for us all."

With a snort, the man turned his gaze back towards his subject, thankful that the one he'd been watching hadn't left the area he'd encased himself in. "I'm not pining."

"Then what do you call that?" the black-robed man asked, leering at his stalwart companion, emerald eyes glimmering mischievously.

"Observing."

Scratching his head, Axel shrugged his shoulders and huffed even as he planted his hands onto his scant hips. "Sure. I believe you. Well, I'm off - gotta go con Demyx into doing my assigned chores again. Roxas wants to go tear up the town tonight, and damned if he's gonna hog all the fun to himself."

As the other vanished with a twist of space and a flash of darkness, the observer sighed and shook his head. Even as he turned his gaze back to his subject, he frowned.

He'd been found out.

"Going to stand there all day?" his subject called out.

"Maybe."

"Pity," the one he watched said with a shrug. "I was about to head out for our evening walk. I was under the impression that you were waiting for me to finish as you do every night."

Arching a brow, the observer almost hurriedly made his way to his subject's side. "Fine. I'll accompany you; only if you accomplish one task first, though."

"And that task?"

Turning his gaze to his companion's face, the young man frowned deeply. Brushing silvery hair from his face, crystalline blue eyes narrowing furtively, he let a sigh drift from his lungs even as he crossed his arms and let a familiar scowl cross his lips. "Smile. For real."

That night, Zexion sat in his room alone, staring at the moon as it hovered outside of his window.

That night, Lexaeus wandered his trail through the thick gardens alone.

_-end-_

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Well, could've been longer, but this was what came to mind during watch. Oh, the pain of trying to write stories and actually do work at the same time. :P And sorry about Axel, but he was parading around with a Bic lighter and complaining about his lack of presence in BCD. He's been prominent on the brian lately, begging me to get to the next Org chapter so he has a shot at showing up (I think it's Vexen getting screen time over him that has him irked).

You likey? Please submit a review! Such encourages the prolifertion of LexZex. Mwe he he. And if you hated it, I want to know why. Found problems? Tell me! Yeah, I'm fishing here. I'll stop.

(just waves the Ansem plushie towards her monitor before yanking its pull string) SUBMIT! (blinks as it remains silent) You broken piece of crap. (flings plushie over her shoulder)


End file.
